Rules of Vegas

1) The desert makes me sneeze. Dust? AC? The amount of cigarettes allowed to be smoked inside buildings? It doesn't matter. I sneezed constantly.

2) No matter how buff you are: too much moose makes you look nelly. I don't care how many tattoos you have or how tough you are back home in  New Jersey.

3) There are some hard-looking women in Vegas.

4) Don't make eye contact with the people on the strip handing out cards for escorts. And keep your arms by your sides at all times. No matter how aggressive they are or what means they use to distract you.

5) Some of the nicest street prophets in the US are in Vegas. The Jesus in Vegas people are very nice and polite. There are annoying people with bullhorns, but the folks handing out cards - see Rule 4 - are FAR more aggressive.

6) Robin Antin needs to be slapped. Pussycat Dolls rip offs are every where: On stages every where, on black jack tables, even on the pirate ship at Treasure Island. Enough. "Hush, Hush" if you will.

6A) The _____-a rule: erotic/burlesque dancers should have names that end in "a" or "ia". Like Labia or Vagina. Every single girl at the Flamingo  X Burlesque show was named "Olga", "Talia", "Meeka" or "Sheekira". The only exception was "Brittany". I'm not kidding

7) Buffets cause gluttony. No. Really.

8) Until the economy clears up, don't pay full price for anything. There are deals everywhere; you just have to look for them. The best show we saw, La Reve, was half full.

9) Laying by the pool takes work: it's hot and crowded. You have to get there by 10 AM to stake out a chaise. That's fine because once it hits 106 degrees you want to go inside anyway. This is a shot of people in line to get into the pool area at 8:17 AM!!!

10) Vegas is somehow very gay and very straight at the same time. And they NEVER speak.

11) Penny slots sometimes have a minimum bet of 80 cents.

12) In-N-Out Burger is a must stop. At least once.

13) Coolest hotels: Bally's, TI, New York New York, Ceasar's, MGM.
Special design awards should go to the Wynn and Bellagio (GORG!!!!) and Planet Hollywood had a really cool modern feel! Our "Go-Room" at the Flamingo was sexy and still affordable. Y'up that's a TV in the mirror of the bathroom.

Feel Free to skip everything at the far end: Mandalay Bay, Luxor, Excaliber. They were all cheesy no matter how "hi-class" or exclusive they were. I'm just saying.

Design Job - Client, Lobley

After years of discussion, we finally found a sofa that they like, along with two swivel-gliders that will work with it. And we picked out fabrics. And we ordered them! All at one vendor!!!! It was an amazing day. Sofa is by Flexsteel with a classic, almost formal, rolled arm but will be done in a modern chenille stripe. The shallow seat deck with a tight back is perfect for my Mom's back and legs. The accent chairs seem to be a good size for a lot of different body types and they're being upholstered in a really beautiful, subtly rich, medallion motif. Colors are fern greens, terra cottas, warm sandy colors, and touches of burgundy. The walls are going to be Behr's Outback, although Crushed Ginger was a close second. And it all works beautifully with the fabric we picked out for the dining room chairs when they were visiting last year. Now we just have to find a leather cocktail ottoman, and we're done!

You know you live in a lux neighborhood:

When these are the fruits and vegetables on display at your local Ralph's. Aside from the pomegranite and the mini-pineapple, I have no idea what any of this is and how to eat or cook it. I have to submit 50 whole "Foodie Points" and go back to remedial class at America's Test Kitchen.

These are not sea urchins, but a fruit of some kind. Brad, Help!

Solidly hip layover

The Jet Blue terminal in JFK is fabulous design. A PR agent in Los Angeles once told me the "God is in the details." Then this terminal is holy indeed.

All of your needs are addressed from food to relaxation to shopping. But everything has been put through a style filter there's always a fresh twist to it. Even facilities to recharge your portable electronics are cool: long pub height counters with individual stools perched on a single industrial style wheel, a monitor in front of you that speaks to the restaurants in the terminal so your favorite snacks can be brought to you.

But if you did that you wouldn't get to see the restaurants. Beautiful tile is used to set a theme: whether it be Parisian bistro in bright yellow and white, re-purposed Subway tunnel with iridescent pieces laid out against matte ones, a decidedly hip take on the Mexican revolution with rustic blues and whites in a strong geometric pattern. The food court itself offers 8 different stands from pasta to pizza to japanese to deli all cooked fresh to order. Andy's selections from "Cheeburger Cheeburger" was huge, and then we noticed their motto on the side of a chocolate shake: "Big is better".

Modern waiting areas with free-form style lounge chairs or platforms stacked stadium-style with clean square pillows and individual electrical outlets give travelers options other than the rows of chairs outside of the gates. Shopping is a pleasant mix of duty-free style shops and bookstores with international brands and imports from the East and Europe. MUJI to Go is a clever little store that offers neat small-scale gifts and travel essentials: umbrellas, suitcases, and containers all with a Japanese sensibility. 

New Judge on American Idol...

I really like her (and you knew this was coming) but,

Really, Ellen, really? The Fox Network? I sort of hope this is a veiled attempt to get hidden mic's and cameras into the news-rooms so eventually that malarky will get shut down.

Anywho...

She says in her announcement that she's on the panel because she's just like the viewers themselves with no inside knowledge or interests in the producing end of the music industry. She's just there to represent the voice of the music-buying public. I thought the public calling in was a representation of that voice. If you want a voice from the average man, shouldn't you just get an average man? I'm sure she'll be an excellent cheerleader; I hope she can actually offer criticism and critique when it's needed.

I think most importantly: an out lesbian is a permanent judge on the biggest show on television. No matter how well she'll do or if she's just Paula without the prescriptions, that fact that she's there is big. Huge. And we can't lose sight of where we've come from is a relatively short period of time.

Are those quotation marks?

Right there, on the bottom, underneath the illustration. He's Ken's "BUDDY"!?!?!

We all know that' some sort of shame-based code.

And an open terry-cloth camp shirt with short shorts?

Oh, Allan, you're TOO much!

THIS is the most wonderful time of the year

I know that fall is supposed to be about the turning of seasons, the grandeur of the foliage, the bounty of the harvest. But the cornocopia of my mailbox brings me another type of plenty: CATALOGS!

I love looking at the stuff I'll never purchase. I follow the trends of what's for sale on the open market. What styles start out as exclusive high-end opportunities and what ends up Lillian Vernon fodder before the true Holiday Season rush.

Andy and I have a ritual every year with the catalog from the Art Institute of Chicago. They have some amazing Christmas Cards and every year we debate which one is the perfect selection for this year's greeting. We always love the black and white photos, but the printed sentiments are too simple. The dancing cats: too cute. The religious: too religious. And there are plenty that are just too artsy. It also doesn't matter; we bought our cards for the upcoming season on sale at the end of last season anyway. The point is we're shopping. It's differnt than buying.

Which brings me back to the catalogs. It shows me which companies are setting the trends and who is trying so hard to maintain their brand image that they've lost touch on what the public actually wants. I'm fascinated by the William Sonoma company. Did you know that they are not only William Sonoma but also Pottery Barn, Williams Sonoma Furniture, Pottery Barn Teen and Kids, and West Elm? All the same parent company. Cool, huh? They're the Beatrice of home decor.

Anyway, I'm a little concerned about the latest Pottery Barn catalog. The cover says "Decorating with Baskets". Really? That's it? The company that translated to "Shabby-Chic" phenomenon to the masses is touting the thrill of baskets? All those McMansions have so much empty space in them that they have to buy empty things to fill up the rooms? No function, just texture. It's just another sign that the retail leader is slipping.

The woods no longer have the same depth and texture in their finishes. It doesn't seem to be just veneer work, but now toned applied grain as well. I'm just not sure if applied distressing and and instant acquired history is the way to go right now. I don't really want something that looks like it's been re-purposed (however Green that idea might be) when I'm already using second hand pieces that I found after the students next door moved out. I know that your house is in danger of being re-possessed, but how about a new dresser that's been made to look like it was just slightly damaged as it came over from a plantation in Java?

Hell, no! I want something new! And I think most people do, too. There's a rumor that the Newbury Street Pottery Barn store is being closed. Just like the Boyleston St. Restoration Hardware was last year. These guys need to re-define who they are or there will need to be additional closures.

Posters for the People

The finest collaboration of propoganda and art.

Mid-week, end of Season Perfection

I went to Provincetown yesterday and was couldn't have had a better experience. The ferry was pleasant and the weather was gorgeous. I was thrilled to see that there were many body types that weren't a Provincetown Small, but some actual guys with real bodies. I may have to write a Thank You note to the New York Times. As my friend Matt says, "We're all turning 40."

I'm obsessed with the new logo for the Provincetown Monument, at least it's new to me. I think its genius it how it DOESN"T look like Donald Duck's head - an insight for which I will never forgive Steve Tuck.

Went into the stores. All the usual suspects. Crappy gay service. I get less and less interested in that stuff as I get older. My house is already furnished and I don't fit into any of the clothes. Wa, however, never fails to at least get my attention. They have some AMAZING accent lamps made form sea shells that manage to be modern and organic at the same time. And in the current hot color palette: creams, brown, orange, with a touch of pink. Gorgeous.

I love the weathered grey of all the buildings. So many subtle variations on one color.